That’s right, in 2015 Bruce Willis will be returning as John McClane to fight the nurses who keep stealing his stuff at the home. Probably. I mean, dude will be like 70 by the this point, right?
My first reaction upon hearing that Bruce Willis was dry cleaning his dirty vest to once again do some increasingly dumb shit in the name of John McClane was to roll my eyes like a hipster in a Walmart and then scream like a banshee receiving a spiky enema.
What. The. Fuck. Bruce. Willis? How much is Demi screwing you for on child support payments? I can only assume crippling financial obligations are the reason for his decision to continue tearing at legacy of what was once my favourite nostalgic action trilogy, just ahead of Lethal Weapons 1 through 3.
Currently it only has a screenwriter, Ben Trebilcook, a Brit not known for much before this, and a title, Die Hardest. To be honest I don’t know how much “writing” Die Hard movies take these days outside of “BOOM, KABLAMMO, PITCHOW PITCHOW, HOLY SHIT A CAR HITTING A SUBMARINE IN SPACE OR SOMETHING, AMERICA, WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHH, KABLAMMO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”.
I’ll take my fee through the normal WGA channels Hollywood.